Effective Communication

I find myself communicating differently with different people from various groups and cultures on a daily basis. I am much more formal with the families that I work with than I am when I communicate with their children. Across colleagues I find myself communicating differently based on the content of the conversation (ex. social vs. work related). I also monitor the content of social discussions based on the audience (ex. who I can trust vs. who I cannot trust, who may find humor in my statements vs. who may be offended). I think that one of  keys wto being an effective communicator is knowing when and how to say the things that you need to in a way in which they will be received positively. In order to do that, taking the time to get to know your communicative partners is crucial. Understanding unspoken social rules and social etiquette is also critical.

Three strategies that I could use to help me communicate more effectively would be:

1. To look at situations that may bother me from different perspectives (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

2. To work hard to understand the different cultures and realities of others, as this may help me to understand their actions due to their beliefs (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

3. To keep in mind that learning about others does not mean that I am not free to continue to be who I am. It means that I can have a "broader perspective on differences" (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p.38).

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Observing Communication

I chose to record and observe one of the shows my husband and son enjoy watching. It's a show about mechanics who buy old trucks and modify them and then sell them as hot rods, monster trucks, etc… When I watched the show with the sound turned off I could tell which men appeared to be the employees and which man appeared to be the owner/boss based on the context of many of their conversations (ex. men working on the truck and the owner coming into the garage and inspecting the work). There were moments of humor demonstrated by smiles and laughter and moments of stress/distress and anger demonstrated by anger facial expressions, body language and the occasional throwing a tool. The show cuts from garage work to individual interviews with different employees and/or the owner/boss. During the interviews, most of the men were much less animated and it was more difficult to determine what the dialogue was about when compared to filmed segments of interactions of the men while at work.

When I turned the sound on and watched the episode I was able to see that I did make the correct assumption about the roles of the men in the garage (ex. employee vs. boss). I was also able to assume which employees appeared to enjoy their job and which ones appeared stressed and less interested in completing the work by a scheduled deadline. One of the things that I also noticed is that when watching the interview segments of the show, with the sound on I was able to get a much better understanding of the message the men were conveying. One thing that particularly stood out was the number of men who used sarcasm and dry humor that would not be picked up on based on non-verbal communication. I think that if I were watching a show that I knew well I would have been able to have a greater understanding of what the men were speaking about based on their personality and relationships within the show. I also would have had the knowledge base of the roles within the garage environment.

Competent Communication

When I think of someone who I enjoy talking to and communicating with, I would have to say that my husband comes to mind. He is the person who I confide in on a daily basis and the one that I share my inner most concerns with. He is an effective communicative partner because of the way that he listens and remembers. He gives me his undivided attention and even though we have very different points of view on a lot of different topics, he takes to time to try to understand where I'm coming from. It's his ability to listen intently that I appreciate the most. He makes me feel like I am being heard. He doesn’t try to fix issues or solve my problems. He shares his insights and points of view in a way that helps me to look at situations from a different perspective.

As a busy mom, I find myself constantly multi-tasking. In doing so I often find myself juggling many things at once. If I were to choose something about the way my husband communicates that I would want to emulate, it would be his ability to listen in a way that makes who I am communicating with feel valued and important. I would remember what they have said and follow up with them about it at another time so that they know what they have shared with me was heard.